Sunday, July 11, 2010

January Jones Visits with Joyce Barrie Friends

This Wednesday... July 14th I will be visiting with Joyce Barrie Friends at - 11am EST - noon - Weekdays LIVE

We'll be talking about Thou Shalt Not Whine and in or listen to Joyce's archive of the show.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy Mother's Day from January Jones and Zoey

Happy Mother's Day from January Jones & Zoey!

Happy Mother's Day
from January Jones & Zoey!

Our best wishes for a wonderful Mother's Day that is filled with love and lots of laughter for you and yours!

Now hereeeeee's Zoey!

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter about her own childhood.

"We used to skate outside on a pond.

I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.

We rode our pony and we picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.

At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."

"Look in your underwear, Grandma." he advised.

"Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

Now hereeeeee's Mommy!

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mummy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mum knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's
get Mum's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mum would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mum

Stop Whining and Start Smiling,and if that doesn't work then start eating chocolate,
lots and lots of it!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Happy May Day from January Jones

Happy May Day from January Jones

Here's a May Day bouquet from Zoey with springtime wishes
that will make you smile for awhile!

"It's May! It's May!

The lusty month of May!... 

Those dreary vows that ev'ryone takes, 
Ev'ryone breaks. 

Ev'ryone makes divine mistakes! 

The lusty month of May!"
Lerner and Lowe

"Ah! Spring is here.
The rabbits quit their dens. 

The dormant grass begins to grow.

The trees release their airborne allergens.
 It's time to tune the Toro and to mow. 

To fertilize and lime and thatch and seed. 
As-groveling on dirty, servile knees--

You pluck the dreaded dandelion weed
. And rub your itching eyes start to sneeze.

Wherever grass encroaches,
you must edge.

And don't forget to stir the compost heap
And trim the junipers' unruly hedge.

While forfeiting a needed hour of sleep.

Those poets penning praise to spring and tillage
Are domiciled in lofts in Greenwich Village."
Bob McKenty, A Sonnet

Mother's Day is next week and
Thou Shalt Not Whine...
The Eleventh Commandment
is the perfect gift to give or get!

Thou Shalt Not Whine...The Eleventh Commandment at
Order it today to receive it for Mother's Day!

Stop Whining and Start Smiling,
and if that doesn't work
then start eating Chocolate,
lots and lots of Chocolate!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Happy Spring Time Honey Bun Sugar Plum

Happy Springtime

from January Jones

Here's a Honey Bun, Sugar Plum

to brighten your day!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Who killed Kennedy?

Listen to George Norry's interview on Coast to Coast with January Jones

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

St. Patrick's Day from January Jones

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Irish who?

Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
Never Felt Better - Classic Irish Story

In a court in Killarney, deep in Munster, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place:

'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Shea, did you tell the officer that you had never felt better in your life?'

O'Shea the farmer: 'That's right, sir.'

'Well then, Mr O'Shea, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?'

O'Shea the farmer: 'When the officer arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say: 'I've never felt better in my life.'

Why Worry? Blessing for St Patrick's Day
In end, there are only two things to worry about:
either you are well or you are sick.

When you're well, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you're sick, then there are two things to worry about: either you get well or you will die.
When you get well, there is nothing to worry about.

But when you die, then there are two things to worry about: either you'll go to heaven or you'll go to hell.
When you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

But when you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry!

Instead join us for a cup of tea........


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Elton John, Joy Behar & January Jones.......What if Jesus were gay?

I was recently watching the Joy Behar show and they were discussing Elton John's recent comments that Jesus was gay! Couldn't help but laugh out loud since I wrote about this topic in 2008..............tongue in cheek! Enjoy, enjoy!!

What If...Jesus Were Gay?

By: January Jones | Posted: Aug 08, 2007

What if….. Jesus were gay?

 by January Jones 

excerpted from

 Thou Shalt Not Whine
…..The Eleventh Commandment : Beaufort Books May 2008

This hypothetical question popped into my head the other day after I heard a minister on television say that, “Jesus definitely did not approve of gays.” My thought is, “How could Jesus not approve of gays since he created all of us in his own image?”

Now let’s ask, “What was the image of Jesus Christ, the Son of God?” Well for a starter, he was a good Jewish boy that lived at home with his mother until he died. He had no girlfriends that we know of except for his friend, Mary Magdalene. She was a prostitute who was probably one of the early celebrities in the gay holy land. Mary would have been a biblical Madonna or Cher type personality.

Jesus never married or had children that we know of unless you are a fan of The DaVinci 
Code that most churches are quick to denounce. His best friends were the twelve apostles who were all men just like him. Granted some of the apostles were married men. But if Jesus were gay, “Why couldn’t some of his close friends be bi-sexual?”

Then there is the way he dressed. Jesus wore long, flowing gowns, great sandals and had fabulous hair. I’m not saying he was a cross dresser but the clothes he wore were very similar to the ones his Mother and Mary Magdalene wore. Also, I think it is rather interesting that now his male priests and ministers dress more outrageously for services than most women.

“Wouldn’t be amazing if we find out that Jesus was not only a fabulous, darling guy but he was the Boy from Oz?” The original one!


About the Author

January Jones is the self-proclaimed Whine Tester. She is a reformed whiner who lives every day in the No Whine Zone. She is a published author who has done over 500 radio talk shows and television promoting her theories. Ms. Jones specializes in homemaker humor. She is an outrageous gal who loves sharing her theories, cures and conclusions.

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