Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
January Jones is the author of Thou Shalt Not Whine...The Eleventh Commandment: Beaufort Books 2008. Ms. Jones, an expert Whine-ologist, hosts an internet radio show called Whine Time with January Jones on www.VoiceAamerica.com. every Thursday at 9 am PT. Ms. Jones was a guest speaker on The Norwegian Sun NCL cruise to Alaska in May 2009. January competed in The World Series of Golf in Las Vegas to be televised by WGN in 13 episodes starting June 28, 2009.
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
Never Felt Better - Classic Irish Story
In a court in Killarney, deep in Munster, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place:
Lawyer: 'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Shea, did you tell the officer that you had never felt better in your life?'
O'Shea the farmer: 'That's right, sir.'
Lawyer: 'Well then, Mr O'Shea, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?'
O'Shea the farmer: 'When the officer arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him.
Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say: 'I've never felt better in my life.'
Why Worry? Blessing for St Patrick's Day
In end, there are only two things to worry about:
either you are well or you are sick.
When you're well, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you're sick, then there are two things to worry about: either you get well or you will die.
When you get well, there is nothing to worry about.
But when you die, then there are two things to worry about: either you'll go to heaven or you'll go to hell.
When you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But when you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry!
SO WHY WORRY!?
Instead join us for a cup of tea........
By: January Jones | Posted: Aug 08, 2007
What if….. Jesus were gay? by January Jones excerpted from Thou Shalt Not Whine …..The Eleventh Commandment : Beaufort Books May 2008
This hypothetical question popped into my head the other day after I heard a minister on television say that, “Jesus definitely did not approve of gays.” My thought is, “How could Jesus not approve of gays since he created all of us in his own image?”
Now let’s ask, “What was the image of Jesus Christ, the Son of God?” Well for a starter, he was a good Jewish boy that lived at home with his mother until he died. He had no girlfriends that we know of except for his friend, Mary Magdalene. She was a prostitute who was probably one of the early celebrities in the gay holy land. Mary would have been a biblical Madonna or Cher type personality.
Jesus never married or had children that we know of unless you are a fan of The DaVinci Code that most churches are quick to denounce. His best friends were the twelve apostles who were all men just like him. Granted some of the apostles were married men. But if Jesus were gay, “Why couldn’t some of his close friends be bi-sexual?”
Then there is the way he dressed. Jesus wore long, flowing gowns, great sandals and had fabulous hair. I’m not saying he was a cross dresser but the clothes he wore were very similar to the ones his Mother and Mary Magdalene wore. Also, I think it is rather interesting that now his male priests and ministers dress more outrageously for services than most women.
“Wouldn’t be amazing if we find out that Jesus was not only a fabulous, darling guy but he was the Boy from Oz?” The original one!
CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org www.januaryjones.com
About the Author
January Jones is the self-proclaimed Whine Tester. She is a reformed whiner who lives every day in the No Whine Zone. She is a published author who has done over 500 radio talk shows and television promoting her theories. Ms. Jones specializes in homemaker humor. She is an outrageous gal who loves sharing her theories, cures and conclusions.
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