Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Elton John, Joy Behar & January Jones.......What if Jesus were gay?

I was recently watching the Joy Behar show and they were discussing Elton John's recent comments that Jesus was gay! Couldn't help but laugh out loud since I wrote about this topic in 2008..............tongue in cheek! Enjoy, enjoy!!

What If...Jesus Were Gay?

By: January Jones | Posted: Aug 08, 2007

What if….. Jesus were gay?

 by January Jones 

excerpted from

 Thou Shalt Not Whine
…..The Eleventh Commandment : Beaufort Books May 2008

This hypothetical question popped into my head the other day after I heard a minister on television say that, “Jesus definitely did not approve of gays.” My thought is, “How could Jesus not approve of gays since he created all of us in his own image?”

Now let’s ask, “What was the image of Jesus Christ, the Son of God?” Well for a starter, he was a good Jewish boy that lived at home with his mother until he died. He had no girlfriends that we know of except for his friend, Mary Magdalene. She was a prostitute who was probably one of the early celebrities in the gay holy land. Mary would have been a biblical Madonna or Cher type personality.

Jesus never married or had children that we know of unless you are a fan of The DaVinci 
Code that most churches are quick to denounce. His best friends were the twelve apostles who were all men just like him. Granted some of the apostles were married men. But if Jesus were gay, “Why couldn’t some of his close friends be bi-sexual?”

Then there is the way he dressed. Jesus wore long, flowing gowns, great sandals and had fabulous hair. I’m not saying he was a cross dresser but the clothes he wore were very similar to the ones his Mother and Mary Magdalene wore. Also, I think it is rather interesting that now his male priests and ministers dress more outrageously for services than most women.

“Wouldn’t be amazing if we find out that Jesus was not only a fabulous, darling guy but he was the Boy from Oz?” The original one!

CONTACT: info@januaryjones.com 

About the Author

January Jones is the self-proclaimed Whine Tester. She is a reformed whiner who lives every day in the No Whine Zone. She is a published author who has done over 500 radio talk shows and television promoting her theories. Ms. Jones specializes in homemaker humor. She is an outrageous gal who loves sharing her theories, cures and conclusions.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day from January Jones

This is just a note to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day
from January Jones and Buckeye Leif!

Valentine's Dictionary
...........for Women and Men

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed
the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes,
diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can
understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour
writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will
not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae)
n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card......but "No Whining" allowed!

Have fun and remember to eat
lots and lots of chocolate!!
Your Valentine Friend

January Jones

If you have the time, go to my website www.januaryjones.com where you can choose from the entire archive of eclectic interviews from my radio shows!