Thursday, February 11, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day from January Jones

This is just a note to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day
from January Jones and Buckeye Leif!

Valentine's Dictionary
...........for Women and Men

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
You bought the groceries, washed
the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes,
diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can
understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour
writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara
(wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will
not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae)
n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky
to get a card......but "No Whining" allowed!

Have fun and remember to eat
lots and lots of chocolate!!
Your Valentine Friend

January Jones

If you have the time, go to my website where you can choose from the entire archive of eclectic interviews from my radio shows!

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